Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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