i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
