try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
