he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
