i was born a porn star she said
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
