I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
