Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
