whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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