True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
