You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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