I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
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