we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
