Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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