Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
