Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
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my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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