You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize