Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
