I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
