Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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