Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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