i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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