i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
