He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
