I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
