just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
