Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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