I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
