You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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