I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
