I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
