dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
