I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
