I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
