he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
