you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
