Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
