i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
