Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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