i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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