wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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