i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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