Whod you bang
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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