oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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