TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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