Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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