Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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