Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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