booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize