You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
