I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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