You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I met the friendliest cop last night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
