Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize