Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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