Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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