omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
