i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
