I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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