I am puke
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
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