4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
