Do you still have your period?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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