my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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