people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
